The Gottman Method
in Verona, NJ and all of New Jersey Online
Do You Want To Learn Evidence-Based Tools For Restoring Trust In Your Marriage?
Has a lack of respect, affection, or understanding slowly crept into your marriage or relationship? Are you and your partner struggling to:
Talk about difficult topics without getting defensive?
Rebuild trust in the wake of infidelity or substance abuse issues?
Keep from falling into the same arguments and conflicts over and over again?
Maybe the two of you find yourselves in a state of distress because you just can’t seem to communicate in a healthy way, and you’re worried that your marriage is on the rocks. Or perhaps your relationship is going well on the surface, but you want to head off any conflicts before they become a problem. You might be planning to get married and looking to ensure that your needs, values, and goals are aligned before you tie the knot.
No matter where you are in your marriage or relationship, the Gottman Method of couples counseling can give you the skills, tools, and wisdom to strengthen your connection for years to come. This research-backed, time-honored approach teaches you how to break down defensive barriers. build trust, and increase intimacy and satisfaction, enabling you to repair emotional ruptures easily and turn toward each other rather than away.
Have questions or would like to schedule an appointment? Reach Out Today!
What’s The Science Behind The Gottman Method?
Gottman couples therapy is backed by over 50 years of research. In 1975, psychologists John and Julie Gottman teamed up with Dr. Bob Levenson to study the emotional lives of couples. Using a thorough interviewing process and a rating dial to measure positive and negative emotions, they were able to predict with 90-percent accuracy the chances of couples divorcing or staying together. Their findings were replicated in study after study, and as a result, the Gottman Method was born. Essentially, what John and Julie Gottman sought to do is create what’s called a “Sound Relationship House”—a way to visually represent the strengths and challenges in a marriage. They did this by identifying the four main predictors of divorce: Criticism (attacking the character of your partner)Contempt (approaching conflict from a place of superiority)Defensiveness (playing the victim when disagreements arise)Stonewalling (shutting your partner out and refusing to engage) They also identified antidotes to these behaviors, creating what they termed the three main predictors of marital success: communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy and friendship. As a Gottman-certified therapist, I trained under John and Julie Gottman themselves. I know their methods work because I have witnessed the incredible results myself. Over the years, I’ve helped countless couples—young, middle-aged, and old—overcome betrayal trauma, communication breakdowns, substance abuse, and other marital challenges through this remarkable approach.
What Should You Expect In Gottman Method Couples Therapy?
The goal of the Gottman Method is to help you and your significant other turn toward each other rather than away. This is done by teaching you to share your own needs and feelings instead of talking about what you think your partner’s needs and feelings are. In our sessions together, I’ll help you both slow down and take turns speaking and listening, allowing you to approach conflict from a place of understanding rather than defensiveness.
After all, one of the basic tenets of the Gottman Method is that conflict is a normal part of any marriage. The goal should not be to avoid conflict, but to manage it well. To do so, I’ll help you learn to steer clear of “you” language and practice using “I” language instead, focusing on how your partner impacts your own emotional state instead of pointing out their flaws.
Additionally, I’ll give you and your significant other skills and tools for preventing conflict from getting out of control and repairing the relationship when it does. This includes teaching you to recognize when you’re feeling vulnerable or defensive and unable to take in new information. I’ll help you learn to self-soothe and return to a place of calmness, one where you can truly hear your partner even when you disagree.
The skills you gain in Gottman couples therapy can be easily applied to your everyday lives. You’ll be given resources that you can use in between sessions, such as videos and booklets describing many of the tools involved. Far from being tedious like most couples therapy homework assignments, many couples find these resources fun. A great example is “love maps,” which are questionnaires designed to help you figure out how well you really know your partner—their hopes, dreams, wants, needs, favorite hobbies, etc.
In the end, the goal of all the exercises I use is to empower you and your partner to learn more about each other so that you can use that knowledge to build a deeper, more meaningful connection.
How Can The Gottman Method Benefit Your Marriage?
Through scientifically-validated, research-backed methods, the Gottman Method can teach you and your significant other to:
Learn the art of intimate conversations
Restore trust in your relationship
Make emotional repairs when things fall off track
Practice the art of forgiveness
Take responsibility for your part in your relationship’s dynamics
Cultivate deeper admiration and affection in your day-to-day lives
The beauty of the Gottman Method is not just that it can decrease conflict, but that it can also bring joy, fun, and spontaneity into your relationship. After all, you’re not coming to therapy just to be slightly less miserable—you’re doing it because you want to have an amazing relationship. My mission is to help you have just that: an amazing relationship!
My Background Training Under John And Julie Gottman
I’ve been working as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for over 25 years now and started using the Gottman Method with couples in 2016. I had the privilege of studying under John and Julie Gottman during my training—an increasingly rare thing among therapists nowadays, as the Gottmans no longer offer live trainings.
Not only did I learn all the skills and tools of this unique approach straight from the source, but I’ve also taken every course the Gottman Institute offers. I continue to study under a Gottman-approved mentor at the highest level, and today I am a Certified Gottman Therapist with numerous trainings and workshops to my name.
Your Relationship Can Thrive Again With The Power Of The Gottman Method
I care deeply about the clients entrusted to me. I have passion and enthusiasm for the work that I do because I believe in preserving marriages and relationships. I have seen lives turned around and real miracles happen. Many couples have come to my practice feeling hopeless and distressed and emerged with newfound trust and confidence in their relationship.
What’s more, if you and your partner find yourselves in a crisis, the good news is that I have no wait list. I am often able to see couples the same day that they reach out to me, as there is no group practice to call or secretary to go through. So if you want to set aside some time to focus on strengthening your marriage, call 201-259-7229. I look forward to hearing from you!
Joel Levine offers both online and in-person services to couples in Verona, New Jersey.
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The Gottman Method in
Verona, NJ
280 Bloomfield Ave
Verona, NJ 07044