Couples Therapy
Have You Been Feeling Lonely And Unhappy In Your Relationship?
Does your marriage or relationship lack the fun and spontaneity that it once had?
Do you feel like you and your significant other are just two ships passing in the night?
Are you tired of having the same arguments over and over with no resolution?
Maybe a lack of interest, affection, and humor has crept into your relationship. Perhaps sex has fallen by the wayside and your lives have grown so busy that you have little time for each other. You might be dealing with money troubles, parenting disagreements, or even infidelity.
Some days, you might wake up and think: This isn’t the person I thought I married. As a result, maybe you’re thinking it’s time to get some extra support and see a couples therapist.
Arguments May Play Out Endlessly And Compromise May Feel Impossible
Perhaps you and your significant other have tried to work through your hangups. You’ve both made an honest effort to talk about your differences, but every time, misunderstanding rears its ugly head. You continually end up arguing in circles, unable to compromise or see things from each other’s point of view.
After a while, you might find yourselves going to great lengths to avoid touchy subjects. Afraid of rehashing old fights, both of you keep quiet and withdraw into yourselves, staying occupied with your own separate interests and pursuits. Yet the more you run from conflict, the sadder and lonelier your relationship probably feels.
The good news is that you don’t have to keep struggling in silence, nor do you have to keep arguing in circles. As a Gottman-certified marriage therapist, I’m here to help you and your partner overcome defensive behaviors, improve your communication, and build a stronger foundation of trust.
Have questions or would like to schedule an appointment? Reach Out Today!
Not Every Problem In A Relationship Is Solvable—And That’s Okay
According to John and Julie Gottman, the founders of the Gottman Method of couples counseling, about 69 percent of relationship problems are unsolvable (1). For a problem to be unsolvable, it has to be perpetual and come up again and again without resolution. When this happens, it usually comes down to a difference in a couple’s values.
For example, you may believe that extended family should play a major role in your marriage, while your partner may believe that extended family should take a backseat. Or one of you might take a very disciplinary approach to parenting while the other takes a more hands-off approach. In both of these cases, the differences are related to core parts of who you are, or things that are too important for either of you to change.
Yet even when problems are unsolvable, it doesn’t mean you have to despair. Counseling can help you find ways to still have a productive discussion even when you don’t agree, opening up new avenues for empathy and understanding.
Our Hyper-Individualistic Culture Is A Breeding Ground For Relationship Problems
American society is consumed with productivity and the drive for individual success, and this makes it hard for couples to prioritize their relationships. Many couples are burdened by finances, stretched thin by childcare responsibilities, and pressured by toxic and demanding workplaces. As a result, it’s hard for partners to make time for each other—let alone themselves.
To make matters worse, people today are surrounded by media influences that depict happy couples having great sex and leading semi-charmed lives. In the face of all these pressures, it’s no wonder more and more couples are turning to therapy for guidance and support.
Therapy Can Help Couples Become Better Friends, Lovers, And Communicators
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist who is certified in The Gottman Method, which is the highest level of educational achievement for couples counseling. I was trained under John and Julie Gottman, the creators of this unique approach, and I continue to receive advanced training and mentorship under Dr. Robert Navarra, a master trainer with the Gottman Institute.
At its core, the Gottman Method breaks relationship satisfaction down to science. It draws from over 40 years of research and the study of over 4,000 relationships to help couples implement evidence-based tools for strengthening their connections (2). The Gottman Method provides couples with strategies that they can practice both in sessions and at home, empowering them to break down defensive barriers and become master communicators.
Needless to say, you will be in highly capable hands when you work with me. I will use my Gottman expertise to help you make your relationship a safe haven of friendship, admiration, affection, and deeper understanding.
What To Expect In Couples Therapy Sessions With Me
Although I want to help you and your partner interrupt unhealthy communication patterns, my approach to couples therapy is equally focused on celebrating the good things in your relationship. Together, we can explore questions like: What attracted you to each other? What are the highlights of your relationship? What was the wedding ceremony like and was there a honeymoon? What made you decide that, out of all the people in the world, this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life?
Ultimately, I want to help you celebrate each other and bring fun and play back into your relationship. This will make it easier to address the underlying wounds, betrayals, or traumas that have shaken the foundation of your relationship.
My Gottman-inspired approach can empower you and your partner to:
Nurture and deepen your friendship with each other
Learn the importance of expressing admiration and affection
Listen to each other with the purpose of understanding
Recognize the signs of “flooding” and anticipate conflicts before they happen
Build rituals of connection for keeping your romance alive
The strategies I teach have been proven to work and are based on research and science. You and your partner will gain specific skills to help you both know each other and feel known by each other, allowing you to break unhealthy cycles of communication, strengthen your sense of trust, and turn toward each other with love and appreciation.
You May Have Some Questions About Couples Therapy…
What if we don’t have the time or money for couples therapy?
My practice offers daytime, evening, and even Saturday appointments. I offer flexible scheduling and I’m able to provide both online and in-person sessions. I’m confident that I can accommodate your busy schedule and I encourage you to remember that this is a short-term investment that yields lifelong reward. By putting your time and money toward bettering your relationship now, you can ensure that you don’t have to spend more time and money on it in the future.
Are you going to tell us to divorce?
It’s not my place to tell you what direction your relationship should take. My goal is to help you and your partner communicate better and feel more understood. If the two of you end up deciding that you want to go your separate ways, I will wholeheartedly support you, but I’m not going to try and push your relationship in a certain direction.
What if talking about our relationship challenges makes them worse?
Thankfully, talking about problems in couples therapy doesn’t lead to more problems; it leads to more understanding. The Gottman Method has proven successful time and time again, helping couples work through their stuck points and rekindle their love for each other. I’m confident that you and your partner will find this work richly rewarding as long as you are both committed to engaging in the work of healing.
Rebuild Your Relationship, Heal Old Wounds, And Fall In Love Again
If you and your partner are tired of having the same arguments over and over and you want to create more empathy, compassion, and intimacy in your relationship, I encourage you to pursue couples counseling with me. To get started, you can email me, use the contact form, or call me at (201) 259-7229.
(1) https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems/
(2) https://www.gottman.com/about/research/effectiveness-of-gottman-method/
Couples Therapy in
Verona, NJ
280 Bloomfield Ave
Verona, NJ 07044